its all coming up peaches

The concept needs to be stronger. Our 'story' is focused on two models. One boy and one girl. We are the only group (so far) who is using a boy, which is in my opinion quite silly because female models are not the only models in the fashion industry and we should embrace it, not run away because styling a boy, or putting make-up on a boy is more difficult. Anyway, our models will have to look like each other for us to get the undertone of incest in the shoot. (the incest comes from back to basics. Basically, living with no need for the modern world. The closeness that living on a commune portrays. That feeling of family/community. Some are related, some are not but they are all family. This drove the converstation onto incest, being in love with a sibling or a parent like in'Ma Mere' by Christofe Honore where a boy finds out his lover is his biological mother.

We came to an agreement that this was possibly too much for the project so to have the undertone of incest there needs to be a link so we are using Goldwell hair dye to produce a colour on the extreme side of natural. Personally I was hell bent on having this colour



but I was talked round to having a yellow orange colour(and coincedentally the same shade as my own hair)





We thought a little more about our tutorial with maggie and what she said about a "borrowed identity". It is not one copying another, instead it's more a mutual, shared identity evoloving together.

a little too much love

The decision making process.

We were pretty set on just naked to be about the self and what the self is in the eyes of the individual. Following your own instincts, being with whoever you want, dressing however you please. But then this idea of ambiguous relationship kept coming up. Is it a boy and boy? Girl and girl? Boy and girl? Are they friends? Lovers? Siblings? It just made sense. The current economic climate means there is less money. Less money to spend on clothes and luxury items so people start to share clothes with their partners, siblings, friends. There becomes one interchangeable wardrobe, there is no heirarchy of fashion, trends become obsolete because its all been done to death.

The notes from our meeting 19/10/09:

story: (how we got to the idea) JUST NAKED -- back to nature -- comune living|family| sheltered life| naieve| manson esque (?possibly?) -- ambiguous relationships -- possible suggestion of... incest/loving family little too much/boyfriend grirlfriend or friends...

fashion angle:

home made
unaffected by trend
recycled
carbon neutral for 2010
hand me downs
economic climate, recession, trying not to spend


notes from maggie.....

borrowed identity, minimal wardrobe to share between the couple. possibility for film direction, cutting to each model in same clothes (we thought possibly stop motion animation of the clothes swapping between models as they stand still). the blurring because of the ecomomy..trying not to spend too much money or being wastefull.
closer to their roots , sharing wardrobe.

look for reference for ambiguity in

art
fashion designers
textuality, textures an materials
designers..products, graphics etc
architecture
music

look to trends for hair in 2010 catwalks..men and women.

Lots to do to form a strong concept.

all that glitters....

So my group for the Goldwell Project rock. We are so on it. We had a few meetings in the first few weeks to discuss our initial thoughts from the briefing at the Academy.

I took notes from the breifing to post on our group progress site, this is what they are asking from us:

just naked is a reaction to the economical recession, our over consumption and sustainability issues. this = humble luxury

it is about refined simplicity and authenticity.

clear and organic shapes harmonising with natural and essential colours.

catch phrases from the film and power point were:

'back to yourself'

'made of emotion'

'in love with coolness' (bahhhahahaha)

'limit to what you need'

elements, sustainability
pure, light, sincere
pastels, nude, sheer
nothing harsh or strong

essentials (the dodgy mood board..)

white cotton, simple linen, felt, recycled paper, new generation plastics and materials..plastic form potatoes..

minimalistic organic shapes
architecture and shape
art/fashion and colour
floral elements....the foliage technique for colour

the overall theme is COLOUR and what is current for 2010.

remember this is the first year that more than one model was present in the frame and movement was allowed. also the first for kissing, interaction (albeit the fakest of fake interaction) and the back of the head being a main shot.


Our initial response was a word map:




JUST NAKED - self - identity - what you are - emotion - laughter
| |
nature - beauty - bodyform
| |
humble luxury - recession - back to basics
| |
unconvention - rebel - freedom-------------incest


These are the notes from class with Maggie and what our lecturers want us to do from the brief sheet:

the project has an overall theme of SELF-EXPRESSION and INDIVIDUALISM for 2010
alongside the just naked theme of goldwell. your challenge is to expand on this and develop a story based on notions of desire and authenticity using skills in colour, creativity and art direction.

meltdown

I cant concentrate. I have been sat in IT at Lime Grove listening to the delightful first years trying to grasp photoshop and browsing asos while being the noisy little shits. SHUT UP!!! All I want to do is find a place to sit and read and get my head together for my desire tutorial. But no. Every room is locked. So I am here, trying to block out the nonsense and think of my topic for desire. What is desire? What do I desire? Why do I desire? How do I desire? How does desire relate to everyhting in the world?? Who cares?? Sorry. Im disgruntled. I want to go to bed for a thousand hours. I have nothing to show. My main areas of interest at this point are as always, psychology, spirituality, buddhism (which I must must must learn more about!) and the emotional side of everything. I am frustrated that I just dont know where to begin. I dont understand theorists and how they all intertwine. I have no opinion that can be decribed in comprehensible english. Maybe I should go back to school and re do English Higher. AAGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!

desire. despair

It has taken me at least 7 hours to write the 500 words on desire for class tomorrow. It was not a mammoth task, we only had to write something on what we thought desire was, what we desired, how we desire, anything. Here is my attempt. I only managed 423 words in the end.


Desire is that incredible heart-wrenching feeling you get in your chest, the bursting feeling in your head, the tingles in your tummy when you see or hear or feel that which you long for. To desire is to wish for something to happen. To have a strong want for something. To long for someone. For some, desiring is a way to live in this often dissatisfying world as it offers some optimism for what could become. That feeling of hope alone is enough to instill calm.

However, for Buddhists, desire is seen as something to overcome in order to reach Nirvana.

"No matter how much of something you get, it never satisfies your desire for better or more. This unceasing desire is suffering; its nature is emotional frustration."
Buddha

We have reached a point where corporate success has given rise to a culture obsessed with inauthentic desires, dreamt up by advertisers and salespeople, instead of real bodily needs. (Witzenmann. 1976)
We now desire material possessions over health and wellbeing for ourselves and others. This is dangerous as it makes people selfish and self-fulfilling which can only produce negative energy in the world. People become disappointed when their desires are not met and this can create more desire, desire for happiness but as Buddhist monk Shantideva said “All happiness comes from the desire for others to be happy. All misery comes from the desire for oneself to be happy.”. We cannot win with desire.

"We are never so defenseless against suffering as when we love, never so forlornly unhappy as when we have lost our love object or its love.”
Sigmund Freud


When I am captured by desire I desire fully. My whole world becomes engulfed entirely by it to the point where I cannot function. I can no longer concentrate or form sentences. My heart rushes with excitement and sinks with disappointment all at the same time as I desire that which I cannot obtain. I desire that which I cannot achieve. I desire the unknown, the unseen. I have to hide my desires. I cant let them be shown because then someone will see that what I desire cannot be. I desire happiness. I desire love. I desire family. I desire to bake cakes when I wake up. Desire is dangerous. It can make you feel hopeless.


There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire.
The other is to get it.

George Bernard Shaw "Man and Superman"
(1903), act 4


and now sleep.

volver

So I made it onto third year! Highest overall mark at bridging...someone must have been on something but regardless, I am in! Third year workload has tripled in size it seems, more than one project running simultaneously is getting confusing after the first week! I think I'm going to be a broken lady by the end. But I will trundle on and get a first! Ha! Optimism is key. I have two main projects at the moment. The individual project on desire and the group project for Goldwell. And I have to come up with my area of interest for my final major project. I tried some soul searching over summer but ended up working myself into the ground and feel like I need an actual holiday to recharge my brain. I thought I had my FMP topic before summer but the more and more and more I think about it, the more I become annoyed that I am not as intellectual as I had hoped to be by the start of this term. I'm thinking repetition. Hmmmmm.

deeper level of intelligence

I have been thinking more about my presentation and after speaking with my tutor I am very afraid that I did not do what I was asked, to be fair, nothing was ever clear during the whole bridging process and I hope it was not some sort of test to separate us because I deserve to be on the third year more than anyone! Anyway, little off topic there...I need to look at my (hopefully) Final Major Project from an intellectual and informed point of view and not simply take visual inspiration and interpreting it. I gots to growww. And I will. Starting now. I'm reading Plato and Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, a Buddhist monk who writes inspirational life changing books. There is more to my investigation into my psychological profile, I just need to find it. There will be something to learn, some question to raise but right now I am exhausted from doing an extra month of classes. I will rest for a few weeks and then get back on it when I find out if I'm on the third year or not!! Until then I leave you with my folk lover

a love of the unseen world dominates the stage

This title couldn't be more exact. I have a deep interest, no actually, LOVE, of anything that I cant see. I am a reiki level one, so I use energy, life force, to heal. You cant usually see energy, you can feel it if you are open to it but it is not a solid form in this human realm anyway. Talk of ghosts, spirits and energies makes my mind spin. I like to think that I have or could have an insight into the ethereal world. If there is not something more I will lose faith in my world!

Back to the analysis...it says that"You are a sensitive and idealistic person who is not wholly comfortable within the limitations and boundaries of material life; for like Plato, you crave the Good, the True and the Beautiful - and if you are unable to find glimpses of your dream amidst the mundane...you can are capable of becoming depressed or even ill."

It sounds slightly extreme but is true to a certain extent.

I presented my b on Thursday, I was a mess and dont think I said anything coherently. I hope I made some sense!! Find out soon.

I need to look for more inspiration...I keep going back to Eduardo Reciefe everytime I have a project. I love his work, its his collages. They make my heart skip..I dont know what it is about it though, maybe the colour pallete he uses and the way he uses snippets of text like thoughts or quotes. But it's his collages that I love..Why do I love fragments and patterns? Oh! I do love fragments and patterns...maybe an underlying theme.....??!


Jordan introduced me to the wonderful world (and art) of Keetra Dean Dixon. This is one of her invitations. Love love love! Endless possibilities. I love the tiny knots on the string!


I need more....

straight to z...

Confronting the Chaos of the Inner World was the working title of my personal project last term. It is from concluding section of my analysis which summarises, well, my inner world.

sketchbook page

one of the final images

But I feel that, in a way, I concluded my journey of creativity before I had even begun to explore it. I could have taken it to various different places but I hadn't explored the areas it summarised if that makes sense. How could I fully confront the inner chaos if I didnt realise what that was?? So, my a to b is to back track from z. I will continue to use the section titles as themes but I will explore them, through film, photography, possibly installation(?!), cross stitch, make-up, hair and styling...

my a

I presented my 'a' to the class last week. I remember standing there, looking at them and rambling. nonsense. Apparently I was coherent and articulate and clear about my 'a' even though I never said half of what I had scribbled down beforehand. I would like to have said:

"My a is me. My mind. I need to explore my creativity. It is a need because i believe everything in the world, or my world at least is connected and I can become depressed or ill if I dont. The mind and body need to flow together in a sense, for example, if I dont drink water, my eye twitches. If I get stressed I get bad skin. But when I make pictures or sing(or something) I have so much energy and spirit and all my ailments disappear. I know when I am blocking something because my body tells me in some way. It just takes a while to find exactly what I am denying. So my starting point for a to b is my Psychological Horoscope Analysis. I plan to use the different sections in the analysis to explore my world and my mind and hopefully I will discover something"


We were given a blank canvas and asked to show our 'a' on it at our presentation to symbolise that we have to forget about the FdA and start afresh with bridging.

Here is my effort...







I now need to start working towards my 'b'...

a to b

Today was the first day of bridging. I sat in the lecture completley baffled by every word coming out of the lecturers mouth. He said from a to b a million times in many different ways referencing seagulls and salmon and many other metaphors. Basically I have to find my a to start my journey to b. So here goes...this blog is my outlet for my ideas.